Who else watched Jeopardy tonight because wtf, man.
One of the first categories was “80s Hit Makers” and the correct answers were Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, Janet Jackson and George Michael. After the category was cleared, Alex Trebek was like “We didn’t trick any of you! Wow!” and and all the contestants gave him this like “Wait, was that supposed to be hard or something?” Jeopardy question-writers, y’all must be drunk.
Then the Final Jeopardy category was “Sex and the Constitution”, which Alex read as “Sex and…the ~~CoNsTiTuTiOn~~?” like he was so scandalized. Oh, and the correct response was the 19th Amendment, because it had to do with Women’s Suffrage. Only one contestant got it right. Only the one male contestant got it right. I was so irritated.
For some reason, captioning was only provided for one part of the episode, which was separated into three parts. Still, it’s ten minutes of pure lulz. Enjoy.
The gingerbread man data warehouse is where all the gingerbread IT guys work. Duh.
WHOA HOLD UP. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK, GOLDILOCKS?
I want to say something smartass about this one, but unfortunately, I got nuthin’.
FULL OF AFFORDABLE MAGICAL ORGANIC PRODUCE!
WHAT, THE MAGICAL MARKET WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU GWEN? GEEZ LOUISE!
FLAP OVER OBAMA’S WHAT, EXACTLY?
AND THEN EVERYTHING GOT ALL WEIRDLY POLITICAL.
MIKE THE COBBLER IS PARTICULARLY FOND OF 1984, ALTHOUGH ANIMAL FARM COMES IN A VERY CLOSE SECOND.
YEAH, FUCK YOU, SIGN. YOU’RE MEANINGLESS. GET OUT OF HERE.
WHY ARE YOU ON WELFARE MICKY? YOU’RE AN INKEEPER. STOP LEECHING OFF THE SYSTEM.
AND THEN PETER OF TORK AND GWEN DISCUSS CONGRESS OR SOMETHING.
…AND PETER PERFECTLY DESCRIBES MY FEELINGS ON THE 2012 REPUBLICAN PRIMARIES…ALL THE WAY FROM 1968. DUDE’S A TIMELORD.
THE DRAGON IS TRYING TO APPEAL TO HIS AUDIENCE, AT LEAST ONE THIRD OF HIS AUDIENCE.
And then it went to the third part and I couldn’t watch it with captions.
CBS IS MAKING A MODERN SHERLOCK
CBS has bought Sherlock Holmes, a drama project from CBS TV Studios and studio-based Timberman/Beverly Prods., which is described as a modern take on the cases of the pipe-smoking private eye created by Arthur Conan Doyle. Rob Doherty is writing and will executive produce with Sarah Timberman and Carl Beverly.
I’m such a glutton for pain, but I love going on Yahoo News to see what the crazy users have to say about various happenings. Here’s what I’ve gathered from the opinions of Yahoo News commenters regarding Hurricane Irene (No, seriously):
And don’t even get me started on the rampant homophobia, racism and antisemitism in the comments. Ay dios mio.
Good Lord, this website and the people who comment on it. It makes me want to laugh and throw things at the same time.